I’m finally back from my long absence from wordpress. Or, you could say, my long absence from the world. My student teaching was literally the most will-crushing, heart-wrenching, depression-inducing experience of my life. Let me give you a quick glimpse into a day in the life of this student teacher. Here’s something I wrote on March 15. “I have nothing left. Nothing. I can’t give anything more.” I can’t. I’m exhausted and drained. I have no energy left. I have no more ideas. I have no more strength to go on…How will I go on? Lord, You have to do it.” I had tried everything I could think of, and it still wasn’t good enough. Instead, I stopped trying. The only reason I graduated was because God did it for me. All the grades and scholarships and awards in the world couldn’t get me through this. All the friends and family couldn’t convince me to finish. Only the God of the Universe could pick me up and carry me to the end.
In the middle of this despair (you might think I’m being slightly dramatic, but it was truly despair), I felt the presence of God more clearly than ever before. Sure, I cried every day, but the only thing that got me out of bed was the fact that I knew that He was with me. A song that I heard over and over during that time said “Why are you crying? Let me lift up your face. Just don’t turn away.” Whatever you go through, please don’t turn away from Jesus. He’s the only thing that matters. I was in a fiery furnace. Whether I survived that time or not, I knew that Jesus Christ was with me in the furnace. Look straight into His eyes and He will comfort you and transform you during the most challenging times.
